You grow up, get married, have a baby…. quit your job! Whats next?. Two years ago I was pregnant with my daughter Jana. I was working till my 6th month of pregnancy. I couldn’t keep my job and I become Stay at home Mom. Then Jana was born.
The first year wasn’t to hard, she was little and it was my first time staying home. She was little and she needed me all the time. I was breastfeeding her. After eight months I had to quit my job. My husband told me it’s going to be ok, my baby needs me. I thought it was ok, it is hard for me to work with all that obligations There is one problem with the whole situation now, I am bored to death. The days are passing away and I am sitting home with my baby. I do not have anyone to talk with. I am feeling useless because everybody are working and it’s just me sitting around and feeling desperate. When you live in a country with 30% unemployment you do not have the choice if you are going to work or not.
I am a nurse by profession. It should be easy for me to find a job, at least I thought that it would be. I am feeling that my marriage is falling apart. All that is my fault. I think that nobody understands how difficult really is to sit around and doing nothing with your life. I love my daughter very much, but sitting home one day after another isn’t easy for a person that has been working since she was 18 years old. I tried to search job via internet, remote jobs. The thing with remote job is that you fight for one job with a bunch of Indians and your client will not pay you 1$ an hour, when he has options to hire someone else for 0,50.
I am sending at least 10 job application a day. No response to my prayers. Hope it will be better, but I have to be more ambitious There is another thing that makes me unhappy too. Even if I get a job, I won’t be payed enough. The fact that all nursing salaries here are 200 euros a month, make us scream so much loud that the whole universe will hear your voice eventually. I remember when I was working I wanted to have a decent salary and to work 40 hours a week. That is a full time job. My job was at least 50 hours a week with no payment for the extra hours. And I should be happy for having a job. Working in a gynecologic obstetrics office is not a place where you can sit and smile all day long. I had at least 50 women that were coming and going from 7 am to 5 pm. For all that work I had just a smile and thank you. This is a shitty country and I want to disappear. I had a huge fight yesterday with my husband. It’s like I am guilty about everything. Why can he understand that I have a problem? I am not perfect, I will not ever be that perfect woman that cleans that house every day, cooks 24/7, smile to the child, and stay happy. Sometimes I am jealous of my sister. She has a nice job, good husband and no children. She doesn’t like kids. I think that she even don’t like my kid. She didn’t both her apartment she didn’t both her car, and yet she has all the things that I need. Some people are lucky I suppose.